CSI: Playroom

Police responded to a call at the green house and discovered the dismembered pieces of the victim. Heading up the stairs the backbone, ribcage, and pelvis were found on the upstairs landing.

Upon entering the “play room” the left leg was found directly behind the computer desk.

The left arm (I think) was located on the floor in front of the television.

The right arm and right leg were found on a pillow in front of the wicker chair.

The victim’s head was finally located under the chair.

Two suspects were apprehended, and have confessed to torturing the victim. They were the usual suspects.

Some toys just aren’t made for kids

Under “categories” I’ve listed Jonathan takes his toys apart. It should read Jonathan takes Isaac’s toys apart. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Well, Isaac is Link, and Link is Isaac. It’s his secret identity. And it’s why Karen is such a fan of Zelda. It’s not Link running around on our TV fighting evil, it’s Isaac. And wow, he does exactly what Karen tells him to do, the first time (mostly)! If only kids came with a little controller or Wiimote so that they’d do exactly what you told them to.

So Santa brought Isaac a Link action figure for Christmas last year. Let’s just say it’s not as much action as we’d hoped. It breaks as easy as a Jenn-Air range. We found out quickly that Link’s arms fall off, and this is what happens after ten minutes with Jonathan:

I’m surprised he lasted through June.

To save Santa’s reputation I’ve told Isaac about product licensing and the fact that Santa didn’t in fact make this toy in his workshop. The bad news is that Santa bought a dud. The good news is that we can get him something a little more durable.

A couple months ago Isaac told me “When I grow up I’m going to make a Lego Zelda video game.” I wonder where he got his inspiration?

It does say on the box that it’s not meant to be played with. Here’s your first warning:

Is there such a thing as a mature five-year-old collector? Anyway, now my old GI Joe bad guy will have someone to go to rehab with:

Triumph of the Black Knight

I swear these toys are (individually) as I found them. Yes, I moved them to a new location to take the picture but that’s it.

We’ve been playing lots of Legend of Zelda video games lately.  By “We” I mean everyone in our house with two hands.  For you guys out there, yes that means I married a girl who’s into video games.  Cool, yes, but the downside is that we position for console time.  Guess who wins.  We’ve taken a few months off from them but lately Karen’s been playing Twilight Princess on the Wii and the boys have been loving it.  They’ll watch her for a while and then she’ll let them try if she’s getting killed, it’s fun for everyone.

But then two days in a row came with no video games. It’s summer! Can’t I play all day, every day? Well, no, but all this Fighting Evil inspired Jonathan to break out his knights and castles and play with the swords and battle axes and such.

What I found amongst the pile of toys was the Black Knight riding proudly atop King Arthur’s white horse. I also found the Dark Castle flying the flags of Camelot with the armor & helmets (and one can only assume the heads) of the brave knights who fought and died in vain to protect it from the Black Knight.

For a bunch of games rated “E” (except for Twilight Princess) Jonathan really took the theme and ran with it.

Disturbing Superhero Images, vol. 1

In Spider-man 3 our hero is taken over by this mysterious black suit that strengthens all his super powers, but in return it tries to take over his mind and turn him evil. In Spider-man 4 the black suit makes a comeback and tries to take over completely by removing Peter Parker’s head and growing a new one of its own. In this scene Peter’s body searches desperately for his head (still alive inside the mask) before the symbiote consumes him.

“psst! I’m over here, to your right.”

“No! Over here! To the right!”

“No! No! No! The right! The right! Oh, how did I get such a stupid body?”

“Yes! That’s it! You’ve almost got it, quick! Be careful!!!”

Peter quickly reattaches his head with the help of Dr. Connors and defeates the symbiote again.

Up Next: Batman’s Severed Arm!