The Football Gods like soup

To the City of New York: This sentiment comes courtesy of the fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Indianapolis Colts, Miami Dolphins, Buffalo Bills, your own New York Jets, and most recently the Washington Redskins.

Thank you.

That being said, I did my part and I’m sure everyone will agree that the deciding factor in Super Bowl XLII was my Manhattan Clam Chowder. I hope to be hearing from team officials regarding compensation for my contribution to the outcome of the game. And if any other teams would like my assistance I’m willing to discuss terms.

The Chowder Bowl

I decided to make my Super Bowl pick this year based on soup. And since I’m really hoping the Giants win, I chose Manhattan Clam Chowder. My premise was that the Giants’ fate would be the same as my soup. If my chowder is awesome, the Giants win. I will be playing the role of star quarterback Eli Manning. But I’ve never even tasted Manhattan clam chowder, so you can see that the G-MEN were pretty big underdogs. Here’s how the game went:

WEEK OFF: Eli Manning doesn’t like the coaches’ game plan, so he changes it.

My soup cookbook (from the Culinary Institute of America) instructed me to shuck the clams from their shells, reserve the liquids, and cook the clams in the soup. That sounds really hard, so I decided to steam the clams first, keep the stock for the soup, and put the clams in at the very end. But first things first, I had to clean these things. A sandy soup means a happy Monday in Beantown. I saw on allrecipes.com to soak the clams in fresh water for 20 minutes or so and then scrub them down. Later I read somewhere else that you should change the water and repeat the soaking process twice, but it was too late by then. So I soaked them in a big bowl:

WEEK OFF: The Giants lose some star players to injury.

The book called for four dozen clams. That sounds like a lot of clams (just look at how big those clam shells are) so we decide to use two dozen instead. Yes I said “we.” I’d never make such an important decision by myself, would I? In fact I never considered using four dozen clams. After all, I’m a clam expert.

SUPER BOWL WEEK: The Giants go through a week of successful practices.

While the clams were breathing all the sand out of their systems I diced up some leeks, carrot, celery, and red bell pepper.

GAMETIME! FIRST QUARTER: The Giants’ smallest player scores early.

Two strips of bacon. One would think that such a small amount of volume, when compared to the amount of soup prepared, wouldn’t make much difference, but it would go on to serve the soup well. When the bacon was crisped I put in the diced veg and some kosher salt to sweat.

SECOND QUARTER: The Giants start to miss their injured star players. They thought they had enough men. The Giants’ offense stalls, and Eli’s confidence is shaken. The Patriots take the lead.

The clams took about 5 minutes to steam open (at least that’s how long I steamed them before opening the lid), and Karen helped me by taking the meat out of the shells. It turns out that the meat does not take up all the interior volume of the clam. I’ll remember that next time. See those beautifully opened clams up there? All those clams in the pot gave us this much meat:

THIRD QUARTER: The Giants’ defense keeps the game close.

I strained the liquid from steaming the clams through 3 layers of cheesecloth (to get rid of any remaining grit). I put it and three cups of clam juice, along with two canned plum tomatoes (seeded and chopped) into the soup pot with the veg. This is the part of soup making that I know how to do, so I started feeling good again.

FOURTH QUARTER: Eli remembers his running game. The Giants start to mount a comeback.

Round about this time Karen said “What about the potatoes?” I look at the recipe and, sure enough, I had forgotten about the potatoes, so I peel and dice up two russets and toss them in and leave it to simmer for about 20 minutes.

FINAL TWO MINUTES: The Giants’ star players return to the field for one final scoring drive.

The soup complete, I put the clams back in just before serving.

FINAL SCORE: A short-handed Giants team in over their heads scores the winning touchdown as time expires. The margin of victory is the score from the first quarter contributed by their smallest player.

When all was said and done, the soup was a success. It’s amazing, we really could taste that little bit of bacon in the soup when it was finished. Yes, it would have been nice to have more clams but it came out very nice. Karen made a nice salad and some of her home made Italian bread and that was dinner. Giants win, Eli Manning is the Souper Bowl MVP.

So there’s my pick, Giants over the Patriots. What about you? Who ya got?

The next lesson will cover the Immaculate Reception

Last weekend Isaac and I made an overnight trip to go see the Steelers play the Seahawks.  We stayed with my sister Saturday night and drove to the game Sunday morning.  We parked across the river and rode the boat across to the stadium. Isaac was impressed at how big it was. We entered the stadium at Gate A. Our seats, however, were in Beaver Falls.

Isaac got a cool face tattoo. Then we decided we’d find some food and, more importantly, water. Say hello (or goodbye) to twenty bucks:

Then we made our way slowly to our seats. It was a long walk.  We got there a minute into the second quarter. Did I say it was hot? Holy cow, it must have been 95 degrees. We sat there for ten minutes. Isaac was dripping with sweat, so I suggested we find somewhere shady to watch the game. Isaac also got to see the Super Bowl trophies and the Great Hall.

I knew going in that I wasn’t going to see a lot of football. It turned out to be more of a sightseeing trip than anything. That was cool, we had a great time.

When the score went to 21-0 we headed back for the boat.  We left the game and went straight home. Poor kid zonked out on the ride home.  He walked all day long without complaining.

Isaac’s favorite animal is the tiger, so last year he told me he likes the Bengals. Well, going to that game last week changed everything. He now bleeds Black and Gold. Monday he didn’t have school (Columbus Day), and he printed out some coloring pictures that he then hung above his bed.

That week he drew a picture at school that says “Daddy! I like you because you watch football.”

Mission accomplished.

Wings & mushrooms

I’m starting to enjoy posting football food. I get to use my grill. But alas, cold weather is on the way and I will have to move my enterprises inside soon. We’ll see if Man Food can be made indoors.

So this past weekend I was thinking wings. Karen gave me these great grilling cookbooks for my birthday and I’ve got to use them, right? Weber’s Big Book had two recipes I wanted to try. And I found a recipe in Bobby Flay’s book for grilled portabella caps. Sounds like fun.

Among the ingredients for one of the wing recipes was Tabasco, for heat. My wife is from Trinidad; we don’t have Tabasco, we have Chatak, remember? I used two teaspoons of it in the marinade and bought an extra gallon of milk.

I made two different kinds of wings.  They were both very good, but I only marinaded the sweet & spicy ones for a couple of hours. I ran out of time Saturday night, but next time they’ll both marinade overnight. Of what I made, the last wings on the grill had more pepper to them. Either the extra time in the marinade helped, or pepper sauce sinks to the bottom.

As you can see I can burn chicken on a charcoal grill just as well as I can on a gas grill. It helps if I’m paying more attention to the game than the grill.

I liked the looks of Bobby’s grilled mushroom caps, but decided to take things a step further. He wanted Parmesan cheese crusted over the mushrooms toward the end. We didn’t have any fresh parmesan so I figured I could use mozzarella, and I even decided to put a little slice of tomato under the cheese. (I’m thinking pizza here. Genius, I know.) Toward the end I found some shredded parmesan in the fridge so I threw that on too. They turned out great, but in the future I’d make them out of regular sized creminis so that they’re bite-sized. I’ll keep you posted.

After all was said and done I had 3 good appetizers suitable for catering my Super Bowl party this year, should I have opportunity to host one. Go Steelers.

Dear Commissioner Goodell,

I would like to watch a football game without seeing 8 commercials for ED medicines. Please make them stop.

Thank you.

Postgame sliders

This is Part II from my previous post on chili. That one was running a little long so I decided to give the sliders their own post.

If you have enough energy after eating all that chili, you can go ahead and make some sliders, or mini hamburgers, as a postgame top off. I got this idea a couple years ago from a cookbook for toddlers, and it said that these were just as popular with adults as they are with kids. Further confirmation came from Top Chef last month, where they made these for late-night partygoers in Miami.

I love mushrooms. The problem with putting them on burgers, however, is that they all tend to fall out onto your shirt. You can’t taste them on your shirt. I’ve been on the lookout for months for an idea to put shrooms on a burger successfully. And I had my epiphany right there in the supermarket. I know, I’ve had those before, but I didn’t have the kids with me this time. My idea: small burgers, big mushrooms:

I know what you’re thinking. Thank you, I thought it was brilliant too. And while I’m grilling mushrooms I may as well grill some onions too. Oooh, and I found this great recipe for grilled fries from Bobby Flay, so we even have a side dish.

So how’d it go, you say? It went well. I took a pound of ground chuck and mixed it with a pound of what I later found out was Karen’s special ground round that she uses for a “burn Mark’s taste buds off” Thai dish of hers. So the burgers should be awesome. I mixed in 3 minced cloves of garlic and some kosher salt. Out of 2 pounds of meat I ended up with 17 burgers, so that’s about 8 per pound. I basically shaped them to be a little bigger than the rolls.

I slice up an onion and those big shrooms and take everything outside. I put the onions and mushrooms on the piece of foil and transfer it to the grill, only on the way everything drops to the ground. One of the mushrooms actually breaks into five pieces upon impact, furthering my humiliation.

I salvaged one of the mushrooms and grilled dinner.

I learned something. When grilling mushrooms, don’t put them on foil. They stick. Put them directly on the grill, or maybe even in a little cast iron skillet on the grill. That sounds good. Put the onions in there too, while you’re at it. Now I’m getting hungry again. Anyway, everything turned out well. I did char the fries a bit, but it was getting dark and I couldn’t really see that well. But I did make a successful mushroom swiss burger:

Next time I may make my own burger buns, Karen’s already tried it.

Halftime Chili

Yes, football is back. It’s really been too long. In honor of this auspicious occasion (and in appreciation to NFL officials for scheduling Cleveland in Mike Tomlin’s coaching debut) I’m making Man Food. But it’s not just Man Food, I’m providing a public service here. You see, all prep work is done before the game or during commercial breaks. I told you I’ve got your back. If you start about an hour before the game you should have the chili simmering nicely just in time for kickoff. At least that’s how long it took me.

Many people make beef chili, many people make bean chili. I always put both in. And we also always have it with rice. This is due to Karen’s Trinidad upbringing. They have rice and beans. All the time. And I must admit it’s very good that way. I just won’t win any awards for this because all competition chili is either one or the other.

Chili is actually pretty easy. You start by chopping up some veggies and sweating the aromatics (as Alton Brown likes to say).

Then you dump everything else in, bring to a simmer, and then go watch the game.

Wait! I almost forgot. You know, I was on my way to the couch when I remembered the beef. I had my Bettis jersey on and everything. Don’t forget the beef. Note: Do not sear the meat before you put it in. I did this once. Can you say shoe leather? This was our steak, and yes I chopped it into little bits.

If you want rice, you can start that at about the time the Brows fans start chanting “Brady Quinn! Brady Quinn!” At the two minute warning go chop the cilantro (my secret ingredient. Shhhh!) and stir that in.

You’ll know it’s done when:

At halftime everything is ready, go enjoy.

WARNING: This chili is extremely filling and possibly nap inducing. Beware eating this dish during an exciting game; you may fall asleep during the crucial last few minutes. Perhaps you should only make this when your team is playing the Cleveland Browns.