Of padlocks and soundproof rooms

6 05 2007

Ben sleeping in his crib

Take a look at our only good sleeper.

It just isn’t fair, is it? In Ben’s short one year life so far, he has already spent more complete nights in his bed than Isaac or Jonathan. Combined.

I will give these two credit. They’ve been doing a stellar job lately of staying in their own beds, or if they wake up, going to sleep together instead of to Mommy and Daddy’s bed. But these things go in cycles, and the past couple of nights Jonathan has been coming to our bed in the middle of the night. So what, not a big deal, right?

Let me clue you in to what goes on when Jonathan comes to my bed. I say my bed because they never come to Mommy’s side of the bed. They learned a long time ago that Mommy doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night, so they come to Daddy’s side of the bed. The thing is, these kids “sleep like a clock” as my grandmother-in-law would say, which is to say they flail their arms and legs and end up with their heads at the foot of the bed and their feet on the pillow. Oh, and Jonathan just might decide to play with your hair or your ear with, say, 15 minutes left before the alarm clock. And don’t think “Why don’t you get a king size bed?” Because these two stick so close to us (and by “us” I mean Karen) that we (and by “we” I mean Karen) have to go to the other side of the bed just to keep from falling off.

Jonathan is also a screamer, so I decided long ago that when he comes to our bed, he gets it, and I go to his. I’m not in the mood for battles like this at 2:30 in the morning.

So sometimes Jonathan comes to bed and that’s the end of it, but sometimes Isaac follows shortly after. I usually don’t care about this development because I’m already sleeping in the bed vacated by Jonathan. Actually several times Isaac has come to sleep with me after I switch to Jonathan’s bed, thinking that Jonathan is still there. Good boy.

Are you following all this? Better go get some coffee before we proceed.

That’s a lot of backstory, isn’t it? Well I said all of that to say this. Last night something new happened. Jonathan came to our bed at around 3:00 or whatever, and so I made my home in the top bunk in the boys’ room. I woke up this morning (Sunday) to find Karen in the bed formerly occupied by Isaac. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, family, friends-and-relations, these two miscreants chased both my wife and I from the sanctuary of our nice big comfortable bed. I gotta tell you, it takes a lot to get Karen out of that bed in the middle of the night. Stuff like heart attacks and strokes do it, but not much else. These two have done something powerful, and I’m not about to tell them just how much power they now wield.

In the past we’ve given rewards for a week of staying in their beds all night or something, perhaps we’ll return to that before they start thinking about this too deeply.

How ever did Benjamin happen, anyway?

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8 responses

6 05 2007
Karen

I kind of like the padlock idea.
And I DO wake up in the middle of the night, but whatever it is needs to be making a beeping noise.

6 05 2007
Daddy Forever

Ha-ha. Sometimes I sleep in my kids bedroom too when they sleep in my bed. why do they have to sleep sideways?

7 05 2007
Lawrence

LOL. Now that’s funny. Imagine both of you guys getting chased from bed!

7 05 2007
Dawn

Oh my gosh, that’s so funny, I actually laughed out loud. Don’t ever let my children know this power exists.

7 05 2007
markruinsdinner

I’m glad everyone is enjoying my little story. It was my goal to make someone shoot coffee out of their nose this morning. Hopefully Dawn, actually.

7 05 2007
Dawn

Thankfully, you are so important that I actually read your blog BEFORE getting my morning coffee, therefore no nose spewage was had. Thanks for thinking of me, though. It is truly hilarious.

I think I’m noticing a sleeping theme of late in your blog. And here we are all waiting for pictures of the completed dining room. Karen enticed us with pics of part of the room on her blog – I want to see the rest!

7 05 2007
markruinsdinner

Well, the room isn’t what I would call complete yet. The blinds still aren’t up, the light fixture hasn’t arrived yet, and there’s one small corner of the floor that I have yet to complete. I should have it done by July sometime.

14 05 2007
Michele B

What a story (yes late catching up as usual). For B and me it’s me that always ends up with the child on my side of the bed prodding me awake (not usually necessary as I almost always hear them coming – very light sleeper that I am). I am proud to say that we never – not once – allowed a child into our bed. Don’t be too impressed, having two at once forced us to be tough on sleeping arrangements. That is not to say that there wasn’t many a night I sat by a bed side rubbing a back or telling a story till I was giddy from lack of sleep….you pay for it in other ways.

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