This is my resume. Eat it.

10 06 2007

On Memorial Day weekend we went out as a family for dinner and a movie. We saw Shrek 3 and we had dinner at Red Robin. As bad as the movie was, the dinner made a much more lasting impression.  Red Robin says on their menu that they have the best bacon cheeeseburger “in the world.” And it oughta be for $8.79, dontcha think?

Bacon cheeseburgers are in the top 3 of my favorite foods.  I won’t even tell you how to do it, what else goes on it, just do it well and I will stand on the tables and sing your praises.

I asked the waitress if it was really the best bacon cheeseburger in the world. Guess what she said.  So I ordered it.  It arrives (hooray!) and after we get the boys situated with their meals I dig in. Immediately I’m disappointed. Shredded lettuce? Really? How much do I have to pay to get some green leaf lettuce?  I’ll save you time and just say that all I really tasted was the mayo and tomato, everything else was just there for texture. Honestly I could’ve done better at Burger King. I was losing faith in humanity so I came to a decision. I’ve got to make one of my own and restore balance to the universe. Karen didn’t care; she thinks I’m crazy but she agreed to get some bacon at the local butcher’s when she gets everything else.

Remember when I said I just don’t get gas grills? I think I figured out why. This thing just doesn’t get as hot as charcoal. I’ve got to close the lid to make the chicken brown at all, and if I leave it closed too long this happens:

chicken with a side of cancer

I made everyone else’s food first, and then set to work on my masterpiece.  I got this cast iron skillet at Target with a removable handle.  Awesome!  Here’s my cheese melting over my perfectly cooked burger and my bacon sizzling next to it. Don’t they look happy together?

oh yeah!  Build the whole thing outside!

It wasn’t perfect but it was certainly better than theirs. If I were to start cooking at Red Robin their food sales would instantly triple I’m sure. All I’d have to do is bring in one of these and I wouldn’t even need an application.

yummy bacon yummy cheese yummy burger

It’s still missing something, I’m thinking perhaps a mushroom sauce. If anybody has any ideas for making one I would be very grateful.

Also of note: Last week we went to Fuddrucker’s and I ordered their bacon cheeseburger.  It was definitely better than Red Robin’s but it took so long for the food to come out that I forgot to pay attention to how it tasted.  If the dining room is deserted it shouldn’t take 20 minutes to make three sandwiches and some fries.  The kids will only sit still for so long.



4 responses

11 06 2007

I’m still a fan of the Chernobyl Chicken, though. It really is extra crispy!

11 06 2007
Daddy Forever

I can better burgers than most restaurants, but I’m lazy. I still have not mastered the grill. Maybe this century.

12 06 2007

mushroom sauce – 2tbs butter, saute some mushrooms in the butter with chopped onions. Add 2 tbs flour untill mixed then add 1 cup milk . you can add a little more milk if desired . Pour generously over burgers.

12 07 2007
My greatest enemy « Mark Ruins Dinner

[…] Those were the best burgers I’ve ever had. Come to think of it, I still make pretty good burgers on the grill. I make pretty good steaks on the grill too. I’ve even cooked veggies on the […]

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