Next time I’ll just wave

5 07 2007

Some of us have more trouble adjusting to the Monday morning routine than others. I’m especially bad. Having two parents in the house all weekend long is like a vacation to me, so when I’m left on my own it takes me at least two cups of coffee to get up for it.

Karen was getting ready for work, as usual, and she was running late. I heard “Bye everybody!” and the door close. I’m kind of insecure so I felt a slight tinge of offense “Not even so much as a peck on the cheek.” Hmph. So I go to the window and wave goodbye. At least I get a wave back. Then something catches my eye as Karen’s driving away. Jonathan’s car seat is in her car. So I call Karen on her cell phone, and while she’s still in sight she answers. I go out and get the car seat, collect my morning kiss, and start walking back to our minivan.

Have you ever pressed down on the gas, thinking the car was in drive, but really it was in reverse? Have you ever bumped into something when that happened? Did you ever hit your husband with the car when that happened? I suppose that was a critique of my kiss, but I’d have preferred her to simply say “Mark, seriously, go brush your teeth.”

Strike two against Burger King

1 07 2007

I grew up in the 80’s. That’s to say I wasn’t a teenager in the early 80’s, so most of those brat pack movies went over my head. I couldn’t really relate to The Breakfast Club (I loved Ferris Bueller though) but I watched it since my older sister watched it. But there was one fad for which I was the perfect age, the “target audience.” Hence my state of depression this week.

Karen and I have long held the belief that PG-13 movies should NEVER under any circumstances be seen by children under 13, and in some cases 17. (Remember Titanic?) And when Spider-Man movies started coming out a few years ago it was an easy decision. Isaac was WAY too young. But he turns seven this month, and the coolest thing that ever existed in my childhood is making its way to the big screen.

You’re thinking “Another Star Wars movie?” No, cooler. Star Wars was incredible, amazing, and awe inspiring, but the Transformers were cool.

This, however, is not cool:

Isn’t this supposed to transform?

I understand that happy meal toys cost about twelve cents, so we can’t expect much. But even my four-year-old wasn’t fooled with this one. Um, Burger King? Transformers toys are supposed to, well, transform, ya know? Not this one.  No, here’s the new version of Starscream, and what you see is what you get. It’s some stupid plastic, well let’s call it what it is, it’s a statue. It’s not a transformer, it’s just a robot. Isaac picked up on it immediately.

So here’s an idea. How about these fast food places stop giving toys with happy meals. Maybe little books instead, or activity pages or something. To the chain that comes up with an idea to actually engage children I will offer my patronage. Until then I may just start asking them to take the toys out before we even see them.