Mark ruins August

6 09 2007

Benchmarks are always good. It’s good to know “Ick, I ruined dinner, but it wasn’t as bad as last week’s Jerk chicken.” or “This pizza isn’t very good but it’s not the shape of Wisconsin.” Our family (and by that I mean Mark) has a new benchmark for success, or more specifically, failure.

In life we all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions, errors in judgment. And in these mistakes there are varying degrees of disaster associated with them. And in our house we now know that there are bad ideas, horrible ideas, and then there’s Wal-Mart.

Do I ever have any good ideas?

It seemed like a good idea at the time. If I’m still home to watch the boys during the day I can work two or three nights a week third shift, right? Right? Perhaps not. Had I been working just weekends I still would have failed, but it certainly didn’t help that I was on four nights a week – in a row. By the morning following night #4, the boys were on their own, playing video games all day in their pajamas and eating candy for lunch. And it would take three days off for me to start feeling normal again. Well, as normal as I can be.

I’d been working nights for two weeks when I gave my notice. I told them I’d work the existing schedule and then be done. Problem was, there was three weeks of schedule already done, and two of them were jammed together – four days on, one day off, four days on. Ugh.

It’s amazing just how neurotic you become with sleep deprivation. Do you know how confusing it is to start your shift on Monday and finish it Tuesday? Halfway through the night today turns into yesterday and tomorrow turns into today. And somewhere along the line (I’m not sure the exact time) tonight turns into this morning. People start talking about “tonight” and they really mean “tomorrow.” Then I get to go home and sleep all day watch the kids. Is it any wonder that my love affair with coffee became an addiction? After working those eight nights during a nine day period I actually said to the boys “If you don’t eat your dinner tonight I’m selling the Wii on ebay!”

I once had a college professor who told me “You can’t fail if you never try.” This is something you never want to hear from a college professor. He was trying to make me feel better, knowing that at least I’d had the courage to pluck up and do something stupid. And I suppose it’s true. Adding something to the list of my stupid ideas is better than sitting around wondering what would’ve happened if I’d tried this or that. And boy, I set my sights really high on this one, didn’t I?

Oh, and a guy made a pass at me while working the cheese wall at 2:00am on a Saturday night. Or was it a Sunday morning?



9 responses

6 09 2007

All I can say is, “Thank God it’s over!”
I’ve never washed so many dishes in my life!

6 09 2007
Daddy Forever

So that’s where you have been. Walmart, huh? My wife was thinking of working the third shift at Target. I told her don’t because after she comes home, I would have to take time off from work to take care of the kids while she slept. Funny, you bought the grill at Target instead of Walmart. Doesn’t Walmart have clearances (our nearest Walmart is 15 miles away)?

7 09 2007
mark - in my own defense

Karen kept asking me the same kind of question. “Why don’t you buy milk before you come home? You’re already there and you work in the dairy section!” I’ll tell you what I told her. I didn’t feel like shopping at the end of my shift. I feel like sleeping. And I may never darken the doors at Wal-Mart ever again.

7 09 2007

Just an observation – notice how conveniently your Wal-Mart career ended just as the NFL regular seasion is beginning. This town is chomping at the bit to see what Tomlin’s made of. Starting one’s career in the Dog Pound should be fun. If he loses, he’ll be run out of town on a rail. If he wins, no big deal because he was supposed to win.

My house, big screen, be there.

7 09 2007

If the art shows in the fall don’t pick up I’ll be applying for that third shift Fed Ex job again over the holidays. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GOD let me sell some paintings!

7 09 2007

What is the cheese wall?

7 09 2007
mark - in my own defense

The cheese wall is the wall upon which hangs the cheese. Guess what the yogurt wall is.

22 09 2007
Michele B

Just an aside (I’ll continue to make fun of you about Walmart in person) – you keep talking about your love affair with coffee. Really Mark I’ve tasted the way you like coffee – its really a love affair with barely-can-peceive-it-through-the-sweetness coffee flavored sugar solution with caffeine with sometimes another barely perceived flavor just for variety. Smile.

25 09 2007

I hear you on the all-nighters. I used to work weekday nights 2a-8a at a 24-hour desk. Maybe this will help with keeping track of days: when McDonalds starts serving breakfast, it is officially a new day. =) There’s a Big Mac index in economics, so why not base something else off McD’s?

Also, you can base your days off the meals you eat. Regardless of what time it is, from when you wake up to when you eat lunch is morning, after lunch is afternoon, and between dinner and bedtime is night. You get weird looks at 9 PM when you say, “g’morning.”

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