Mark Ruins Football

4 09 2008

Football is here again, and I am rejoicing along with all those who will revel in NOT hearing those words “World Champion Patriots” all year long.  But we probably will next year, since they got the NFL’s easiest schedule this season.

Last year I made a simple suggestion to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell that would improve my enjoyment of watching football.  He ignored it.  Since I’m used to being ignored (I have four kids you know) I decided to add another suggestion at the beginning of this football season.  So here it is:

End Zone Celebrations

The NFL is often called the “No Fun League” since they don’t allow elaborate touchdown celebrations.  I’m not sure why, maybe it cuts into time better spent on a commercial break.  But these celebrations are enjoyed by fans, players, and members of the media alike.  The only people who seem to dislike them are the owners.

My solution: I propose a new rule.  As long as it’s not taunting, any touchdown celebration goes.  Anything. (Remember when T.O. did the Ray Lewis dance in front of Ray Lewis?  Guts, my friend.)   You want to bring the whole team out and do the Hustle in the end zone, go for it (but practice, please).  So long as it’s tasteful and you keep your clothes on, it’s fair game.  You’ve got 45 seconds until the PAT attempt, it’s all yours, take the stage.  


For any other play celebrations are banned.  With a 15 yard penalty. Heck, I’ll make it easier.  Any scoring play is allowed a celebration.  I loved watching those kickers hurt themselves celebrating a 15 yard field goal.  That’s good television.  But other than that, get back in the huddle or back on the sideline.

It’s really annoying to see players who are supposed to be professionals celebrating after mundane plays. This is much worse than any touchdown celebration.  Remember the NY Giants’ defense a couple years ago with that silly “jump shot” celebration after every tackle they made?  On Monday Night Football, no less.  That made the game almost unwatchable.  Even Al Micheals commented that “This has to stop.”  

So that’s the rule: You wanna celebrate, you gotta score.

The above comments were not intended to be inflammatory and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Mark Ruins Dinner.  If you are a member of the 2006 NY Giants’ defense and would like to come and beat me to a bloody pulp my name is Neil O’Donnell. 



6 responses

5 09 2008

If any members of the ’06 Giants defense want to find you, they can call me. I’ll give them your address! In the Mark Football League are players at least permitted to crack a smile if they, say sack the QB or make an interception? I cannot tell you how excited I am that football season is once again upon us. All is right in the world…..

5 09 2008

On a wholly unrelated note – I did a web search for “Daddy is a dork”, since you like to use that as one of your categories. Did you know that YOU are the first four entries that come up on this search? (Daddy Forever is #5, btw. Apparently a dork, but not as good at is as you are. 🙂

8 09 2008
Daddy Forever

They have that same stupid rule in college too. Let the players have some fun after a touchdown. Reminds me of the stupid NBA rule too. Once a Portland Trail Blazer looked at another player while he was dunking and got called for a technical for taunting.

8 09 2008

Love your disclaimer. Neil O’Donnell? That about made me blow boogers.

8 09 2008
mark - in my own defense

That’s one of the nicest complements I’ve ever gotten on my blog. Mission accomplished.

12 09 2008

wow—what gutsy commentation…i love it. they really should be allowed to celebrate. after all, some of us think that’s the best part!

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